Posted by: Kathy White | August 10, 2010

Television Scares Me — Who Are These People?

With so much time to cruise through the land of 800 channels, I’ve expanded my horizon on just how many screwed up people are on television. And boy do we find it necessary to watch the train wreck — over and over again. Some are sad, some are funny but most, and I do mean most, are just way disturbing to watch. Here’s my latest finds for your television enjoyment. Check your local listings for the times when this insanity can be viewed by you, too.

Dating in the Dark — So, you go on a date but don’t see ’em and you eat with them? This helps your dating life how? I think of something else that can be done in the dark but I wouldn’t just start off the whole thing in the dark. Just me.

Confessions: Animal Hoarding — Can’t make this stuff up. Here’s the description from Animal Planet: Animal Planet’s CONFESSIONS: ANIMAL HOARDING, an unflinchingly honest look at a human condition that affects people and animals. Animal hoarding is defined as a compulsive need to possess and control animals. It has no official psychological diagnosis or treatment and, in most cases, the problem is not addressed until it becomes a crime…until now. I feel sorry for just about everyone and everything involved in this show.

Too Fat for 15: Fighting Back — It’s about a boarding school to help obese teens change their ways. It’s a noble cause as obesity is a huge problem for a lot of teen-agers. Still not sure putting them on television is helping this, though.

Bachelor Pad: 19 former contenstants from the Bachelor and Bachelorette shows live together, sleep in the same room (when not sleeping together in the on-site — and I kid you not — “fantasty suite) and competing for $250,000. I’m not sure what it is they’re suppose to be doing to earn this money except making us cringe. Dignity? What dignity?

Hair Battle Spectacular — I know, right? And, get this, it’s an HOUR-long show. Riveting, I’m sure.

Flipping Out — An obsessive compulsive house flipper. Who the hell found this guy? Jeff has issues. Let’s all watch.

E! True Hollywood Story: Charlie Seen — Oh, must watch. And this is only an hour? Wait… I’m pretty sure we could do a 3-hour special on Charlie Sheen and his special brand of fucking up. Just the mug shot sequence alone could run a half hour.

American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior — Junior opens up a shop across from Dad’s shop. Let the wrenches fly!

Wife Swap — Just the name has always made me giggle but this season I guess features a NYC wife going to Wisconsin and vice versa. Well, that oughta be awkward — be sure to catch the close-up of her face when she realizes there’s no Nordstrom’s for 200 miles.

Dr. G: America’s Most Shocking Cases — Because just sitting on the Internet with WebMed looking up your symptoms isn’t enough. Now you can sit on your couch and worry, too! Wait, why does that itch?

The Great Food Truck Race — EW describes this as The Amazing Race meets Top Chef. What, a big truck runs over a contestant who happens to be a chef and they eat whatever it was he was cooking right before he meets his end? If that isn’t the idea, it should be.

Comedy Central Roast of David Hassellhoff — This one is such an easy mark. Why bother roasting him at all? I mean, seriously, he needs more TV time? Pass the burgers and beer.

Have fun watching all the dysfunction we can program on television!

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Responses

  1. I notice you’re a fan of Amimal Hoarding (the TV show, hopefully), but you neglected to mention AMC’s ‘Hoarders.’

    Personally, I’m always a little afraid I’ll see some distant relative when I watch Hoarders, but that’s what makes it great!


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