Posted by: Kathy White | August 5, 2010

Working the Funny Bone

Ah, the fog is finally breaking up and just a pinch of sunshine is coming through. Time to go wander the Internet …

Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue print is different. — Could make the trip to the police station a LOT more interesting. Wha tha? You gah my tongue -so no I ca– talk.

The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds. — Wow. Impressive. And as the scene pans out, you can see the farmer with axe in hand…. FLY!

Barbie’s full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts. — And Ken’s full name is Gay Ken Chaz LaToya — but just call him Ken. He’s not ready to out himself.

People spend about two weeks of their lives at traffic lights — I so didn’t want to know this. Now when I’m sitting at a light I’ll be stressed about the time I can’t get back.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad in first class. — But the guy with “Rainman”-like autism knows. And he’s not happy.

Every 23 seconds a Tupperware party starts somewhere in the world. — And if you cross-check that with Avon and Amway — well, how does anybody have time for anything?

Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. It is 10 times more effective than valium — Just ask the women who answered this question — oh, and the men snoring beside them.

For every ‘normal’ Web page, there are five porn pages. — And for every five porn pages, there are 100,000 whack jobs. Do the math.

Donald Duck comics were once banned from Finland because Donald doesn’t wear pants. — Same for Matthew McConaughey.

Most lipstick contains fish scales. — Pucker up..

18-year-old auctions her virginity on the internet…Rosie Reid sold her virginity in an auction on the internet to avoid graduating from university with debts of $36,700. The ‘lucky winner’ was a BT engineer, she claims. — Her parents must be SO proud.

Well, that’s all I can rummage through today without losing my sense of self — or something like that. Laugh a little, it can’t hurt.

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